Since I wrote the post It’s Not Fibromyalgia, I have been humbled by the many thousands of people who are reading and sharing. I received so many emails and comments, I just can’t answer them all. I’m sorry about that.
There are so many of us in this world who have lived in bodies that we know aren’t “right,” and yet the medical community in general has dismissed what we know in our hearts to be true.
They tell us it’s Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and offer us prescriptions that make us feel even less ourselves. When we ask what causes these things they have to shrug and say we don’t really know.
Scientists estimate that fibromyalgia affects 5 million Americans. More than one million Americans have CFS. (source: CDC) That’s a hell of a lot of people in the United States alone that are saying, “something is wrong with me.”
If the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and/or CFS feels right in your situation, and if you are feeling better under the care your doc is giving you, I’m happy for you. Genuinely and sincerely.
In my case, I couldn’t accept the diagnosis. I’m a pain in the ass that way. It didn’t feel right to me. Why? Because Fibromyalgia and CFS are not terminal syndromes and I knew all the way down to my very cells that I was dying.
Was I nuts to have had those thoughts? Well, a psychiatrist said no. He told me I wasn’t crazy and encouraged me to push and push until I had an answer for what was wrong with me. To be honest, I was so tired and so sick that I didn’t think I had it in me to push any more. I decided that after I died and an autopsy was done, they’d find out the truth about what was wrong.
Am I better now? Not even close to better. I’ve only been on my treatment a month and I’ve had to stop and start several times because of the nausea I’m having. But, the important thing for me today is that there is a piece of paper I can hold in my hand and see in black and white exactly what is wrong with me.
This is my story. I will continue to blog about it and share the journey I’m on under the care of Dr. Joseph Brewer. I’m told my treatment will be at least a year, but that some people start to see improvement in 4 or 5 months. I am praying that I’m “some people.” (DR. BREWER IS NOT ACCEPTING NEW PATIENTS.)