From all of us here at Wiping the Crazy Off My Face world headquarters, along with our generous sponsor, Mr. Jerry’s British Unicorn Chow, we wish you a joyous New Year. We also want your drunk ass to have a designated driver.
Over Thanksgiving my Mister Person was in Chicago for the holiday visiting his folks. I didn’t go along because I have kids, who in reality aren’t kids at all, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling like I’ve abandoned them if I am not in the hood on American holidays that involve slaughter of any kind. […]
Dear Woman Who Birthed Me Back When She Was Nineteen & Ladies Got Knocked Out Cold for the Event So They Didn’t Have to Hear the Word “Vagina,”I’m sorry I came into the world ass-backward and that your country doctor was too busy smoking a Lucky Strike to do the Christian thing and cut me […]
Today I am tired. Impossibly tired. This is one of the symptoms of “whatever this is” that is hardest to live with. It’s the kind of tired that makes me cry sometimes, though not today. It’s the kind of tired where I may sit in a car staring at the door of a building not […]
The last few days have been the best I’ve had in some time. I’ve actually felt relatively good and I’ve been able to move more easily than I have in some time. I’ve been sleeping so much… 12 hours last night. And I wake up feeling like I could go right back to sleep. It’s […]
The sleep doctor man says I stop breathing about 18 times an hour. No matter how I challenged those results as a damn dirty lie, last week I was issued a travel sized CPAP. A CPAP – Continuous positive airway pressure AKA one of the most effective torture devices used against our enemies in WWII. My “travel […]